At seven in the morning, Frank showered, brushed his teeth, combed his hair, sprayed cologne, and put on a navy wool suit. He stepped out his house to go grocery shopping and all seemed normal on that serene morning, until he noticed a lady wearing a banana suit walking on the other side of the street. Frank was quietly amused, guessing she was dressed liked that for her job, perhaps, at a fruit stall. However, her reaction to his appearance was not so pleasant. She looked at him with such alarm that he looked behind himself to see if he was in danger or if someone needed his help. Realising no-one was there, he turned once more to the lady who was now speed-walking away from him and calling someone on her phone. Frank continued walking, not thinking much of the incident. One street later, he noticed a man wearing a banana suit heading in the same direction as himself. Frank stopped for a moment, even more amused than before. He guessed they were attending a marathon, but he was under the impression they always took place on weekends, so thought of another explanation. He wondered if they were attending a fancy dress party, but doubted it as they were walking in different directions and it was, as far as he was aware, too early for such a party. None of his guesses satisfied him. He carried on to the shops, doubting anyone would believe what he saw. He began to hear police sirens in the distance, and didn’t think much about that either.
When he reached the main road that led to the shops, he discovered the most bizarre scene he’d ever witnessed. All the dozens of people walking or driving by were wearing banana suits. In his area, people usually wore suits like his or dresses or jeans and t-shirts. He stopped in astonishment, more concerned than amused. He wished it was all an elaborate prank. Drivers looked and honked their horns at him aggressively, as they sped by. To his left and right, people began sprinting full pelt at him, shouting obscenities on the way. He turned back home, and ran as quickly as he could in his black loafers. As he ran, he took his house keys from his pocket. When he arrived, he glanced back and saw fifty people dressed in banana suits chasing him as if they hungered for his flesh. The police sirens grew louder, as his heart beat faster. With almost superhuman speed, he opened and locked his front door then dashed to his bedroom.
Just as he was about to call the police for help, his front door was knocked heavily several times. “This is the police! Open up!” Confident he’d done nothing wrong and excited to meet someone that could bring order to the chaos, Frank went downstairs. He opened his front door and found two policemen dressed in banana suits with a police hat on top of each banana. The older policeman casually made his way into the house and the younger one followed. The bunch outside appeared proud to have hunted him down for them. The older one said, as he observed Frank, “Well, well, well. What have we got here, then?” Attempting to get on their good side, Frank told a joke he’d thought of when he saw that first lady in the banana suit, “This is absolutely bananas!” “Yes, well, you’re very funny, but this is a very serious matter, thank you very much. Why are you not wearing a banana suit?” “Why should I?” “Because the law says you must. Don’t you read the news?” “No.” “Why?” Not liking the policeman’s attitude, Frank said, “I don’t like remembering people like you exist.” When he told the policeman he was unaware of the new law, he was telling the truth. He did not read the news, because it made him sad. Since leaving school, he had no friends. He’d been out of work for months. He only visited his family a couple of times a year. He truly was out of the loop. Upon instruction, the younger policeman pulled out one of the folded banana suits he’d been carrying in his own. Frank said, as if in on a joke, “Oh, okay,” and unfolded the banana suit then put a leg inside. The older policeman said, “Stop,” and he did. “Take off your suit.” “Okay, but turn around.” “So you can attack us?” “No. I just don’t want to be watched getting undressed. Can I get dressed in the dining room?” “So you can escape?” “No. I just want some privacy.” “What you want doesn’t matter. Undress and give your clothes to us.” “What will you do with them?” “None of your business.” “Of course it’s my business. These clothes are mine.” “They were.” Crippled by the undying gaze of both policemen, Frank caved in. He undressed, gave his clothes to the younger policeman, and changed into the banana suit. Meanwhile, the older policeman called for backup to collect the other clothes in Frank’s house. The three of them exited the house and, to Frank’s shocked delight, was greeted with celebration. The crowd, that had remained outside, were glad to see him come to his senses and become one of them. They all then carried on with their days.
As he did care about fashion, the change was hard for him to accept at first, but, as the realisation sunk in that the change would not soon be reversed, he began to appreciate the change. He liked that yellow was a brighter and happier colour than the dark colours people usually wore. He agreed with an article he’d read stating that, because of the change, people would become more united, as there’d be less of a distinction between rich and poor or those with differing tastes in fashion, and that no child would be bullied for wearing cheaper clothes. During his own musings, he supposed the tallness of the banana suits would help prevent road accidents, as pedestrians would be more visible to drivers, and that banana suits would be better at protecting women from harassment than attempts to change the behaviour of the vulgar gender. Marvelling at the benefits of everyone wearing banana suits, he thought to himself, “How foolish I was to doubt the new law! After all, I have never worked in or studied politics. There are people that dedicate their entire lives to the subject. Would I dare challenge a scientist’s knowledge of science, or a mathematician’s knowledge of mathematics? Of course not. So, why should I doubt the politician’s knowledge of politics?”